Ever watch a football game and listen to Joe Buck or Phil Simms say the same ol' stupid NFL cliches over and over again??? I know I cannot possibly be the only one that gets annoyed by certain ones that either make no sense, or is simply stating the obvious.

A few years ago, Dan Patrick did a segment on NFL cliches, were he and Keith Olbermann thought of the most used cliches and made fun of them. It was pretty funny, so I decided to do a few of my own. I'm no Dan Patrick, so mine should be better. Because I'm not as corny and my hair looks WAY better than DP's (if you listened to his show, you know he was obsessed about how his hair looked LOL).


He's a vertical threat- So.... do the other receivers go horizontal???

He's a possession receiver- Isn't that what they all do?? Possess the ball when it's thrown to them???

The road to the Super Bowl goes through [insert team here]- this is a football curse, just like the Madden cover and tattooing your boyfriend's name on you. Almost anytime you hear this, that team gets bounced in the first round or don't even make the playoffs

That's a costly turnover- Since when were turnovers NOT costly. I don't care if you're winning 35-21 or was trying to come from behind to win it, they all are costly. If not for the game, then at least for stats.

Welcome to the NFL. (Said after a rookie quarterback is sacked during his first game)- Getting hit is the easy part. Trust me, he was welcomed during minicamps and training camp, way before his first game. With the vets hazing, making them carry their bags and taking them out to eat... They know exactly what the NFL is about.

He ran into a brick wall- No, he just ran into a really fat dude

He's gonna feel that one on Monday- Not a medical genius or anything but.... it is a contact sport. Don't they all???

The defense had that play sniffed out- So what did it smell like when they sniffed it??? Roses, B.O.?? Enlighten me, inquiring minds wanna know....

They have to make plays on both sides of the ball- Ya think???

We're a bend but don't break defense- You only hear that when offenses go down the field on your team but was unable to score. There's nothing cool or good about bending but not breaking. If I bend my finger backwards, that means I'll possibly sprain it, which hurts almost the same as if I break it. Just say we sucked on that drive but we dodged a bullet when they didn't score. Be real in your underwear!

[insert QB here] is a real gunslinger- I tend to say this a lot, myself. But what does firearms and bad Western movies have to do with how you throw a football???


There is no love lost between these two teams- How do you lose love anyway? Can you go to lost and found if you do??? Either you love somebody or you don't. But I doubt it gets lost like your mail or your car keys.


They should go out there and play physical football- What am I missing?? The last time I checked, football was a physical contact sport? Did I miss the memo or something?? Folks who know otherwise, school me please and thanks!

[insert player here] is a throwback type player- Okay... If you play in the NFL right now then you are NOT a throwback type player. With all the rules and uniform changes the current NFL has, trust me..... no one now is a throwback player. If you've never played against the Steel Curtain, been hit by Jack Tatum or defended Johnny Unitas during the 2 minute drill, you are NOT a throwback player. You should be slapped for saying such Tom Foolery, especially if you're an offensive player. Go sit down!